Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
