I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
