just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
