How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize