I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize