i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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