i already hear my dad disowning me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We have started to decorate penises.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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