In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
