great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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