I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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