when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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