I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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