so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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