I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
