Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
