matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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