First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
