dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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