my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
