Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And then he peed in my hair
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