do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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