Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize