The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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