Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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