Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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