chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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