Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
