his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
you never un-have a 4some
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
