Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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