No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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