hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
