yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
