dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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