I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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