I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Someone signed my nipple.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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