I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
