Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
