so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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