Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
