I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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