How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
