Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
