am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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