Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
