it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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