these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
