drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
