you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
