the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
