He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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