He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
