I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i will never coherently bang her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
