He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
