What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
