come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
