Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
