WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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