He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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