Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
