I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
