it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
