sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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