Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
try to milk me bitch
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
