I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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