i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
